My life continues to be inadequate. I am constantly asking myself as to who I am.. and I find myself more scared of incomprehensible things that really should not bother me at all. Today I am sitting in front of the P.E. offices, pathetic and scared of the people surrounding me. A lady walked by and smiled at me just now, but I wonder if she can see the level of discomfort in my eyes. I am pathetic and constantly wandering. My emotions are dulled and my hands are cold and clammy by my sides. Pathetic and lifeless. Panicking about the others. Whispers of my name from the other students. Laughing. Screaming. Side glances and glares.
I feel so insignificantly small.
But now as I sit here and ponder these things, the harsh reality of their trueness hits me like a bullet. I will never be enough, nor will I ever be comfortable with who I am. I am looking at them and my eyes are screaming. But yet they continue on with their lives; doing things I could never do. I will never be them and they will never be me. I will forever continue to sit on this insignificant bench and observe them from afar, continuing to remain nearly unnoticed for as long as I may. Forever detached to this prison that they call school, until I can escape their gaze, their clutch, upon my will.